In The Eyes

I’ve seen it in the eyes
It’s too hard to hide
Death doesn’t always come by suprise
Crippled by the effects of severed parental ties

From before the time you were knee high
You were always the source of your father’s pride
And he yours
From when he would catch you out the sky
Till when you couldn’t even remember him right
Is heaven always right?

From hospital beds to prison beds to the next woman’s bed
This is the shit children are fed
The spirit doesn’t always die from lead

I seen a little girl sitting on the front steps of losing it all
Chin cradled by palms expanding to bear it all
Worries stressing her mind
Feelings too intense to define

Beautiful child leaned over bed rails
Worries over her father redrawing her lines
Face marked with age beyond her numbers
Jealous when others speak of her father
As she never knew him
Her frail spirit wonders
How to spell letters into words
Words into paragraphs
Parargraphs into stories
To make them part of her memories

I seen eyes not quite angry
But needy for him to rise out of his condition
Reality leads a cold mission
I seen tears spilled for lost wishes

Off and on I’ve known him since we were kids
More off than on
Result is his daughter’s life sings a sad song
No one to fill the void when he’s gone
Feelings of betrayal kept her mother from allowing family connections to live on

Waiting for Daddy to come home and save her
She seeks affection
Chasing any brother willing to use her
Each situation bruising her
More pain, denial, the repetition
19 years old and begging
For stories from family so she can feel some form of connection
Next time he’s released from incarceration
I seen the mistrust in her eyes
I seen the little girl in her eyes
Little princess gone wild with thuggish ties
And the wall holding back her cries

I seen lost hope in his eyes
His father was always his pride
Then one day mom’s packed her bags and said good-bye
He and his siblings went along for the ride

Bitter days without rain
Midnight at the blacktop to dribble away the pain
How could she believe?
Poor child, how could his mind conceive
The countless times the old man violated those wedded sheets
Sanctity of the bedroom no longer unique

Then one day he seen it with his own eyes
Couldn’t imagine the surprise
Standing hypnotized
As he watched Daddy snort blow off some strange woman’s thigh
The unimaginable became concrete
He ran faster than his two feet
Dreams crashed to the street
No reconciliation
No chance his mother was mistaken

I seen in his eyes the day larger than life heroes died
I seen in his eyes that to be his father he no longer aspired
Seen in his eyes that he could no longer dream
Because his will was tired

Cornered by stories of children cornered by their parents’ dreams
That didn’t turn out right
I seen it in the eyes
It speaks beyond pride
True feelings are too hard to hide
Adopted by the world
Treated without cure
The spirit dies
I’ve seen the effect of severed parental ties

Copyright © 2004 Willie Huggins Jr. a.k.a. En(D)epth

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